Monday, February 7, 2011

fuck blogspot

Ok so I stopped writing in here because blogspot seriously sucks. If you want to continue reading about my awesome life story, visit for the new and improved blog!

Ciao blogspot. It was good while it lasted.

Saturday, July 17, 2010

somewhat keen observations (inception ending)


I'm awaiting the barrage of analysis on the ending to start right here! 
I want to hear what people think, but here are some observations my friends and I made after watching the movie:

1. Mal's Totem: one of my friends pointed out that you never actually see Dom's totem, and that he uses Mal's totem throughout the course of the movie. Since they bothered to make such a big deal out of the totem issue, one can conclude that Dom never made an actual reality check because he had been using someone else's totem the whole time. One rebuttal to this argument is that Mal was already dead and that ownership of the totem is irrelevant as long as one understands the weight. However, how could Dom understand it if he never touched it in real life?

2. Waking from Limbo: another friend pointed out that during the final airplane scene, Dom and Saito wake up without any machinery attached. They also woke up without a "jolt". My argument was that the time it took for Dom to find Saito was in actuality just the short amount of time during the actual airplane flight. However, because Saito died and entered limbo, he had aged much more than Dom did when Dom showed up. The scene cuts from them reciting each others' lines because of the altitude drop serving as the jolt. By then, everyone had already removed the machinery and were just waiting for the two to wake up.

3. Spinning Top Scene: if the first scenario I mentioned is indeed correct, then Dom is actually so deeply wrapped in layers upon layers of dreams that he can no longer differentiate dream from reality. It's like that one Twilight Zone episode where the guy kept waking up from nightmares - except in this one the "dream machine" serves as Dom's way of constantly digging deeper into the dream world. While various sites have mentioned that this is supposed to be a "buzzed" and "open-ended" finale, I'd like to think that this entire movie was but a segment of Dom's larger dream that he never left. 


*this is an excerpt from a forum post I made, so sorry for the lack of proper grammar.

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

the long awaited (scarce postings)

So I don't write much here anymore. No, I don't have any new excuses, cause they're pretty much the same. I do want to talk a bit about what I've been up to lately though, cause I feel like I owe it to both myself and the few other people that read this blog. 

First off, I'd like to say that my personal branding is indeed in the works. I agree that I could also say a billion other things are in the works, but I only have less than a year left until I graduate - it's best I begin thinking about how to sell myself. I have a few ideas, but none of them are truly amazing. It's going to take much more soul exploring to finally derive the perfect theme for myself. When that happens, this blog will no longer exist (sadly), but I will redirect all users to my new site! Look forward to this very much.

Secondly, I've been playing some Super Street Fighter 4. I'm actually spending a lot more time with this version of the game than I did its predecessor, though that doesn't mean I actually love the game. I plan on learning it to a decent level at least so that I may walk into a crowd or the arcade without embarrassing myself. Yes, Dictator is indeed still my main, but I do plan on learning Juri and a few other characters to that I may diversify my character vocabulary. 

Thirdly, I have begun to play World of Warcraft again. It's been a long time, and I'm glad to find that upon my return I've been warmly greeted by all the veterans of the original founding members of my guild, Art of War. I must say that the quality of players has really improved; some of the people that I remember were fairly terrible are now leading the DPS meters or officers or both! What a change! I'm glad that players are able to grow and learn to become good at the game - it brings some sort of peace to my heart lol. After raiding twice so far with AoW in Icecrown Citadel, I must say that I definitely enjoy a guild where I only have to raid twice a week versus five days. Unfortunately, as well as I am able to dodge fires and void zones, I am unable to compete with the more geared players in the guild now on the DPS meters (I'm about 5300 gear score now, versus the other players who are around 6000 or more). Believe me though: as soon as I reach that level of gear, I'll be back in the top 5 for damage, I guarantee it. I pride myself in being able to optimize my gear, research the specs that yield the most personal DPS, and masterfully execute my Death Knight rotations. All it takes is time, knowledge, and dedication. 

Lastly, I was invited to the World of Warcraft Cataclysm Alpha! I think there's a pretty heavy hand on the NDA right now, so I can't say much I'm afraid. I am going to end this post with a screenshot though (which honestly doesn't spoil that much), but I have to say that I am thoroughly enjoying the Worgen campaign and will definitely be making a Worgen alt when the release is out. There are a ton of other changes I'd like to talk about as soon as the NDA is lifted, so keep in touch!

The Worgen warrior animations are definitely the coolest!

Thanks for reading this, and have a nice fucking day.

Monday, April 5, 2010

the taste of sheer anger (a tale of lost sleep)

I don't give a shit who reads this post, or what people think of me after tonight, or if people will get in trouble for it. I want to make sure that I am perfectly clear on what I have to say.

This blog post is probably going to be one of the more peculiar ones, as I am writing this "in the moment". To say the least, I am angry. It takes quite a bit to get me all riled up, but there are just a few things that send me over the edge rather quickly. Before I get into that though, let's flash back a week or so ago.

My parents would be out of town during spring break. This a green light for me and my sister to host gatherings at our pad. Skipping forward a bit, I had two miniature gatherings for some old friends of mine, and I promised to let my sister host something Sunday (or yesterday). So Cory and Genny come over and my sister asks me to pick her up two 30 blocks of beer. So now I know that alcohol is going to be involved in this party - okay sure whatever. I trust my sister enough that I know things won't get out of hand. 

Here's where things get tossed into the haymaker. I have class at 7:30 the next morning, so I tell my sister to clean up after herself, and then hit the sack before midnight. Prior to this party, I asked my sister exactly what time it would end. She said it would take 4 hours (starting at 8). Okay we all know that 4 hours isn't going to happen, so I figured I'd give them an hour or two leeway. I try to fall asleep for about 30 minutes before realizing that it's going to be an impossible task. I then set myself to playing a bit of Final Fantasy XIII, hoping that it'd die down soon. It's 3AM and they're still noisy as fuck. I storm outside of my room to take a piss, except both our bathrooms are occupied, so I go to my parents' room. On my way back up the stairs, my sister and I make eye contact, and I give her an ice cold stare. If that wasn't enough, I slammed my door as hard as I could so that everyone at the party could hear it. I figured that my sister would wise up and tell people that it was time to either shut the fuck up or leave. Well, this bullshit continues for another 30 minutes and I'd had it. I call the house, and my sister picks up the phone in a cheery voice. I tell her to come upstairs, and she instantly changes her tone. "Okay".

All the lights are off in my room and I can hear her sniffling as she slowly climbed the stairs. When she gets here I drop bombs on her. "I thought this party was only going to be four hours? You know I have class in three hours. I probably won't even be able to make it because I'm deprived of sleep. You're denying me class, you're wasting my money, you're wasting mom's money." I am fuming at this point, and her rebuttals included that she couldn't get people to leave and that others claimed they were too drunk. I think this is the part that ticked me off the most. Don't invite people that you won't be able to control, and if they're too drunk, tell them to get a fucking cab. I tell her that I am THIS close to kicking everyone in the house out, including her boyfriend. I don't give a fuck if people don't have rides, I don't give a fuck if they don't want to leave, this is my fucking house and I need fucking sleep. She leaves my room and I expect some results. Well, it's still loud downstairs and now I am completely furious. Either my sister isn't being vocal enough about it or these people are all just meatheads. They had pulled the last straw. 

My sister knows that I like to play Guilty Gear, and I know that you can hear the tapping sounds of my joystick in the entire house. I got out of bed, turned on the TV, and started playing Guilty Gear. I think that got the message across, cause the house turned pretty damn quiet after that. In my anger, I decided to just not sleep and so I am sitting here with my music and writing in my blog about this utterly pointless all-nighter.

I try hard not to be mean to my sister. I don't like doing it, and I feel bad when I am obligated to. I know she looks up to me in many ways, and it kills me to embarrass her in front of her friends. But some things just do not fly, and this is one of them. I realize it's also partly just mistiming, as today is the last day of my spring break while tomorrow is the first of theirs. Regardless, that doesn't mean I'm going to allow an underage drinking fiesta continue into overtime at my house, with a slew of strangers that don't want to leave, while I need to wake up at 6AM.  I think I was already nice enough to buy alcohol for my sister, allow her to invite ~20 people to our house, and not tell the parentals about it. Part of me wants to teach her a lesson, and I know that telling my parents about it would be the most devastating way to do it, but I also know that doing so would literally destroy the rest of her years in this household. 

In the end, I'm going to decide against it. I think she learned her lesson already when I expressed my anger towards her tonight. People might think I'm overreacting or a douchebag, but you know what, it irks me when my sister is unable to handle herself. 

My body is fairly unhealthy right now and this isn't helping. Fuck I am tired. 

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

stress test (and self realizations)

Over the past month or so, I've come to realize the consequences that result from the "cause and effect" phrase, so famously coined by the Merovingian. On one hand, there is the me who wants to be funny and spontaneous, and on the other hand there is the annoying and offensive side of the exact same coin. At what point do I cross the line? Or in another case, I have a partner for an assignment that I feel is extremely under-performing and unable to take constructive criticism. I beat around the bush, hinting at that fact and eventually force my opinions through. At what point do I cross that line of courtesy? How about this very blog? The things I write on here are oftentimes insensitive and disrespectful. At what point does my free speech turn into feedback?

I feel like I have a unique personality type. I take things seriously and not so seriously at the same time, if that even makes any sense. I still go through the motions that life requires of me to become a successful being, but I do so in this third-person perspective that allows me to realize that in the grand scheme of things the little things we do actually don't matter. Sometimes, I forget about my own philosophies and I let these "little things" get to me. But I still can't help but to ponder and question myself: should I express myself and take the heat, or should I keep my thoughts inwards and suppress my urges.

I find the latter choice to be counter-productive to my very being. I have always tried to express myself, though tailored and edited, and have been supported in most cases. Sometimes I don't tailor correctly, or I come off the wrong way, and end up hurting someone else, and in return hurting myself. It's a fine line to walk. I bring up this topic because there have been, coincidentally, several occurrences that have caused me to question myself, my motives, and my thought processes. 

I think every artist runs into this identity crisis. For me, this is not the first time. It's this sort of nagging, depressing feeling. Or as Bilbo would say, "like butter scraped over too much bread." It's this constant subconscious worry and self-doubt. In the end, I always find my resolve, but it always takes a little while. The truth is that people, in general, love being judgmental. Even the most open-minded person will still inwardly deem their own beliefs as the most righteous; they're just excellent at acting discreet about it. It is impossible to write something or say something, and not be offensive in some way or some manner, in context or out of context. If I said, "I love America", god knows how many people I'd be offending. Or even this previous sentence - not capitalizing "god" might offend Judeo-Christian believers. 

So then what was the point of this whole post if you're just going to continue slandering the fucks that squander expression and take life too seriously? Nothing. Just some self-reassurance that I was born to piss half of you off and have the other half laugh about it.

I'm supposed to promise here that I'll be writing in my blog more, but that'd just be lying lol. More stuff on Magic philosophy and flavor, notes on my industry, and me raving about how not awesome my life is in posts to come. Good fucking night.