the ice stone has melted! (the most awesomest story)

OMG I just remembered the most awesomest story.

So this was like circa first grade or whatever. My teacher was Mrs. Johnson with really, really saggy tits, and my best friend was some scrawny mexican named Joe. I guess I was scrawny back then too, but whatever. My rival's name was Glenn, and he was just another fucking white boy with his hair slicked back. He used to eat his boogers and one time he stapled his finger and I laughed at him while he was carried to the nurse's office, crying. Anyways, Mrs. Johnsaggytitson gave us a box of chalk for the class to draw shit on the black top outside of our classroom. All the kids had wonderful ideas, like: oh hey let's draw dinosaurs and spaceships and gorillas and shit like that. Well me? I had a better idea. I drew a circle in a circle. Joe walked over and was like: "yo what is that?". 

That. Is a butthole.

Joe laughed and then decided to draw his own, only his was a little bigger. 

"Oh yea?"

I drew an even bigger one, and this time I added LINES to it (like you know how your butthole has lines where it folds cause it's like a diaphragm or whatever I can't spell right now fuck). Joe was got pretty frickin serious at this point, and decided to draw a fucking HUGE butthole. I'm talkin a butthole that was the size of Jason's dinosaur to the left. I'd had it. I was going to end this war. I found a huge empty area of blacktop and I sat in the center and started to draw a circle around myself. Joe walks over and is like: "what are you doing now?" 

"You'll see."

I made this thing colossal. I had to walk around in a huge circle to draw the outer ring, like this butthole could swallow the whole dinosaur-gorilla-power ranger-barbie infested blacktop. Then I added the fucking lines to the butthole and called it a day.

But wait, that's not all.

Apparently Glenn had listened in to our conversations and decided to tell Mrs. Johntitstouchhertoesson that Joe and I were drawing buttholes on the blacktop. So she came out and asked me square in the face: "Chris, what is that?"

"Uh...a big eye?"

Man did I get owned. She fuckin dragged me by the arm, went to her desk, snatched out a board eraser, and slammed it in my hand. "Go erase that NOW."

Unfortunately for me it wouldn't erase and I started laughing so I had to sit on the line during both recesses.

Look at that time stamp right there. That's ridiculous. Just like this post. ORE GA DARE DA TO OMOTE YARU!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!