a man of taste (female breast types and preferences)

Every man prefers his eggs cooked one way or another, just as he prefers the shape of a woman's breasts in one form or another. It's a touchy subject - the shape of a woman's bosom. I would like to keep all female viewers in mind, that we don't just want you for your body. Okay now that I have that out of the way...

TITTIES.

That's what they are, in all their glory. Bags of sin folks. Bags of sin.

I think my friend told me this theory once that his mom told him that as apes we used to gauge a female by her ass and that tits are shaped like an ass so we are infatuated with that. I can't believe I still remember. Anyways, tits are bouncy and soft and you just really want to squeeze them. Also, it doesn't help that women find it pleasurable (in most cases) to be fondled (in certain ways), and it only makes us even more insane for breasts. In addition, during intercourse, it is quite the turn on to watch natural breasts bounce up and down (or back and forth). Finally, breasts make great things to look at while you're talking to a woman (ref. Peter Griffin, pg. 137).

BREAST TYPES

They come in all shapes and sizes. To every man himself.

FOOTBALL TITS

Description: footballs. They sorta slope down and act like they're hanging from a hammock or something. They just stick out like eliptical melons ready to be punted. Nipples are generally huge as fuck.

Appeal: usually large in size, they are great handfuls.

Appearances: black women, white women, middle-aged women.

PERKY TITS

Description: they are generally smaller and slope upwards. Oftentimes, the nipples are still visible through a bra. Warning to women: double up on cold days.

Appeal: want something that fits in your palm. Kinda like a palm pilot or something.

Appearances: skinny white women, asian women, middle-aged women, old women, young women.

CIRCULAR TITS

Description: well-rounded and well-sized. Nice-sized nipples. Usually tender and just the right amount of bounce.

Appeal: generally described as "nice tits". Well-rounded, scoring high in each category.

Appearances: young white women, young asian women.

WASHBOARD TITS

Description: fail.

Appeal: for pedos?

Appearances: little girls, unfortunate girls.

FAKE TITS

Description: big, balloon shaped. Looked disproportionate to the rest of body. Has low bounce level.

Appeal: some pornstars look great with them. Some.

Appearances: pornstars and the malls of Orange / Los Angeles Counties.

SAGGY TITS

Description: shorty get low low low low low. Gravity's work at its best.

Appeal: they probably sway in the wind.

Appearances: old women, bra-less women.

I'm partial to circular and football tits. Obv circular is my preference, but some loose chicks with footballs are fun.

I've said it before, I'll say it again: KARA NO KYOUKAI 5 - MUJUN RASEN, WAS FUCKING AMAZING. Please watch it if you haven't already. Coming up! Artwork, Bonen no Xamdou finale, "World of Warcraft: A Lifestyle", a new WoW ad campaign I'm working on, and more! I'm going to work on a Kara no Kyoukai AMV for AX 2009. Also, If you guys know anywhere I can find a large concentration of Kara no Kyoukai merchandise, let me know! Finally, keep Timmy in your prayers or whatever your religion does.