black ice (warning: emo post)

No, not the 213 polearm from Eye of Eternity.

I couldn't think of better metaphoric imagery for what has seemingly coated my heart over the past two years. I used to be the naieve, happy-go-lucky boy, ready to give all of his strength and attention to the girl he liked. I suppose I was never lucky enough cause I wasn't happy and I definitely wasn't going anywhere with my previous relationships. Happy-go-lucky doesn't work.

I am thankful, oddly enough, because these turned into lessons that I would carry with me from now on. When I finally began to understand what caused my failures, I couldn't really blame myself. Back then, I didn't have any sort of comprehension of "the game". So, it hit me pretty hard when this ridiculous world of "love" revealed itself to me. Is this some kind of sick joke? What happened to the immaculate, heartwarming feelings of intimacy between two beings? What are all these mindgames, decietful actions, jealousy, cheating, lying, insecurities...? It's mind boggling, and the more you think about it, the more you realize that humans really don't know what the fuck they really want. Our feelings are so tender and fickle, and our desires so easily swayed by the same wind. 

And so, a few truisms to go with my experience -

1. Don't ever say the words "I love you", till you're really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really sure that you both mean it and that she will accept it.

2. Don't ever give your 100%. I always did, and I always ended up with the same poor results. If you spread out your efforts, it makes your smaller actions shine more. 

3. Don't smother her with lovey-dovey shit. Even if you really like her, learn to keep your distance still. It's the space between a man and a woman that incites desire. If you guys are like siamese twins, you'll get sick of each other eventually (unless you are guaranteed soulmates).

4. Don't ask for sex all the time...well, unless she's into that sort of thing. Fuckin nymphos, quit makin my balls blue.

5. Pay attention to your appearance. You'll notice it naturally degrade. If she ditches the next day, you're screwed if you want a new mate.

Yea, headache.

Sorry for the delay on EHD's article, but I'm going to try to accumulate more historically relevant anecdotes! Probably going to write an article on how MTG CHANGED MY THOUGHT PROCESS this week, as well as funny shit that happens in class and maybe how gay I am for Glenn Rane. Look forward to it!