thank god for fucking mexicans

I love fast food.

There's something about that disgustingly glorious oil dripping that turns me on hotter than a naked chick strapped to a refrigerator with nipples protruding from the peanut-butter spread across her chest. I used to be Burger King man, but I started to feel like all of the burger joints just weren't cutting it anymore. The ground beef patties tasted bland, there was always too much salt on the fries, and there was always so much ketchup it was like eating a fresh vaj pad at the end of her cranky day. As I matured and my taste buds had surveyed the vast variety of fat-food chains, I finally came eye-to-eye with my first love: Del Taco. I'm not talking about puppy-love or a crush or even a one-night stand fuck, I'm talking about some deep shit man, like something you'd give your life for or go shopping with on Saturday afternoons. If the way to a man's heart is from the stomach, then chicken soft tacos have me by the fucking balls.

WHAT MAKES DEL TACO SO AMAZING?

First off, the obvious: dirt cheap tacos. 79 cents? ARE YOU JK? I could buy maybe a condom and get half the enjoyment. Second off, the TACOS are to die for. Del Taco is the only place where I could spend like 12 bucks and feed myself for an eternity and a half. There's nothing that even compares to the feeling of ramming taco after taco into your mouth (it's probably akin to getting rammed in the butthole by a 12-incher and feeling the collision of his hips against your soft butt cheeks, not that I would know anything about that). Lastly, the sauce. THE FUCKING SAUCE. SAUCE OF GODS. SAUCE OF THE PENIS ALMIGHTY VAGINA JUICE. OMG HANNAH MONTANA!

CONCLUSION

I mean vaginal fluids are delicious, but they pale in comparison to Del Taco's DEL INFERNO sauce. Fuck, if a woman would let me squirt some of that shit all over her sweet spots, that would be paradise complete.

Sorry, no article about women yet. I got home too late and was too lazy to write it. I'll save it for a better day. I'm thinking about writing about MTG next blog, so we'll see. I might also have some funny stories after tomorrow night.