understanding the game (recognizing why your heart got savagely ripped out)

I guess you could call me a sensitive man. I tend to invest a lot of emotion and time into things that I probably shouldn't, because in the end it always has a tendency to backfire in the most unpleasant of manners. However, my poor experiences were hardly for naught, as I began to recognize the same patterns and difficulties each time. I used to think that being a decent person with kind tendencies would pull you through, but I'm afraid that doesn't even cut it close. There are invisible rules, you see, that dictate the guidelines to a successful relationship (for yourself, anyways). It's unforunate that, when seeking a compatible mate, you must engage in the "game". The "game" is a series of mindfucks that are traded between a male and a female (or male:male / female:female for all you pc fucks) that will result in the "upper hand" for one of the players. The "upper hand" basically means you own the other person's soul for the next few months before you reach a "break up". A "break up" is generally a loss for both parties, but is considered a major loss to the person without the "upper hand". For a male, the symptoms can include: lack of pussy, higher time investment with his "bro's", excessive drinking, excessive masturbating, excessive punching walls, excessive Counter Strike, excessive working out, desperate calls to various loose women on phone for advice, and more. For a female, the symptoms can include: armageddon, an extremely large phone bill, negative girl gossip, man withdrawls, excessive crying, excessive eating, excessive worrying, breast deflation, and more. Billions of people participate in the "game" daily and yet many people don't understand why they end up on the "butthurt end" of the situation. The "butthurt end" of the "game" is when you lose yourself to the other player then snap out of it one day only to realize what a fucking retard you've been. That's called the "I can't believe I dated that fucking dick" or "I can't believe I dated that fucking cunt" factor, depending on your sex. To avoid such problems, I will provide you the answers to a few simple questions that will help you obtain the "upper hand", so you can whip your boyfriends and pimpslap hos: 

Please follow along these questions and answer them truthfully before seeing the answers. After you have mentally (or verbally spoken out (though you'd probably sound like a retard)) thought up your answer, go ahead and highlight the white text to see what you might have said and then what you should have said. Remember that the "game" is a series of mindfucks - the goal is to make them feel bad about themselves so that they feel they need you. Blue questions are for males, red questions are for females. Good luck!

You are Michael. You have been dating Jane for several months now and would consider her your girlfriend.

"Michael, why don't you ever tell me you love me?"

Common Answers: 

"Oh Jane, I didn't know you felt that way, I love you so much!"

"Why don't you ever tell me you love ME? HUH?"

"Your eyes twinkle like stars against the midnight sky, your hair the red velvet of the sunset, your heart the cove that houses the river of feelings that flow from my heart."

Correct Answer:

"I don't know if I can really mean it if I say it right now."

"Michael, does this dress make me look fat?"

Common answers:

"Nothing looks more gorgeous than you do now."

"We should probably cut back on Del Taco, it's uh, starting to cost too much."

"If fat were the moon and I were the sun, eclipsed would be my eyes to the beauty before them."

Correct answer:

"I don't know."

"Michael, what do you think about kids?"

Common Answers:

"Kids are great, I love them!"

"You wanna make some right now?"

"I wonder what our kids would look like."

Correct Answer:

"Jane, what do you think about abortions?"

You are Jane. You have been dating Michael for several months now and would consider him your boyfriend.

"Jane, I'm going to hang out with my buddies from highschool, okay?"

Common Answers:

"Okay honey, don't stay out too late!"

"Who's gonna be there?"

"Don't leave me here alone, I'm scared of the dark."

Correct Answer:

"That's cool, I was about to go meet up with my frat buddy Blake later. Dinner should be in the fridge if I don't come back tonight."

"Jane, how many guys have you ever had sex with?"

Common Answers:

"I can count them on one hand."

"You're my first, I love you!"

"I can count them on two hands."

Correct Answer:

"Does oral count?"

"Jane, am I enough to satisfy you?"

Common Answers:

"Don't worry hun, you're great!"

"You fill me up every time."

"That doesn't matter dear, all that matters is that I love you."

Correct Answer:

"Hey I'm going to the mall with Stacy in a bit, I'll be back for dinner. Bye, love you!"

Good riddance. This what my bitter experiences have taught me. Just maintain the edge, and you should never fall behind in love. I hope you guys now understand the intricacies of the mindfucks of the "game". Go out and happy mindfucking!

Sorry no article on weather. Few notes: Xam'd 23 was amazing, checking out a new anime RIDEBACK, some more anecdotes from school coming out: look forward to it!